I’ll take “Thing’s Kids Say About Their Mother’s” for $100

Today we are going to play a game…..

Thing’s Kid’s Say About Their Mother’s:

Up First Lyndee:

Statement: “My mom is pregnant!”
Survey Says: False
Judges Explanation: Just because your mom might have a little ‘mommy pooch’ does not mean you are getting a younger sibling. You announcing that to your Jiu Jitsu class does mean mommy will be using your birthday party money to pay for a trainer….Happy Birthday!

Statement: “Oh man, my mom is gross!”
Survey Says: False
Judges Explanation: I am not gross….ok maybe sometimes I am gross (like when I’m really sweaty after a long run… those things I take because you told everyone I was pregnant when I’m not). However, I’m not gross just because your brother farted while running through the aisle at the grocery store and now you think you should tell the stranger who just entered the aisle that I am gross so she doesn’t think that you did it.

Statement: “My Mom doesn’t pee standing up!”
Survey Says: True
Judges Explanation: Yep, I am missing the necessary parts to achieve that goal. However, do we really need to tell everyone? I promise I am not a novelty act.

Statement: “My mom is trying to starve me!”
Survey Says: False
Judges Explanation: Just because you ate the family size bag of chips and the entire carton of ice cream yesterday and now there is no junk food in the house doesn’t mean I am trying to starve you. It means your going to have to eat one of the many healthy options that I have provided.

Now it’s Tiffany’s turn:

Statement: “My mommy farted (pooped her pants) (sharted) (pooted)!”
Survey Says: All of the above are false
Judges Explanation: Hasn’t anyone ever told you “whoever smelt it dealt it”…..That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Statement: “My mommy won’t spank me!”
Survey Says: This is probably True
Judges Explanation: However, just because you know I probably won’t spank you doesn’t mean you should turn to all the other adults in the room and tell them I won’t spank you while I am making the threat….it just makes us both look bad.

Statement: ” My mommy is old…she’s like 30!”
Survey Says: False
Judges Explanation: I can see how you might be confused since your dad threw that thirtieth birthday party for me a couple years back…. but I am not old and I’ve been twenty-nine for three years now…..oh & look a chocolate bar magically appeared don’t you want to eat this chocolate bar and forget all about the fact that we were discussing Mommy’s age. (Yes, Lyndee I stole your trick)

Statement: “My mommy loves to drink wine and then she falls asleep and snores like this (insert pig noise here)”
Survey Says: True
Judges Explanation: Ok this one is true….However, when you tell this to the cashier at the grocery store while Mommy is buying a bunch of wine for a wine tasting charity event you make mommy look like an alcoholic.

Well this ends another exciting round of “Things Kids Say About Their Mothers” we will see you next time! #momproblems #Lifewithboys

-L & T-

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