I Am Raising Gross Little Beasties!

My boys are very loving and sweet.  They are very precious to me and as a mother
of two, I couldn’t be more proud.
However, they are also gross little beasties! Boys are annoyed by
anything that involves cleanliness or a clean environment and they could care less
about personal hygiene.  Seriously, the
stuff I am going to tell you will gross you out. I know this, because it
totally grosses me out and I gave birth to them!

Why in the world would you pick your nose and make a booger
headboard?  Yes, they pick their nose in
bed and wipe their boogers on the wall. Now imagine not knowing the boogers were on the
wall and leaning up against it, surprise and OMG ewwwww.   Every week  when I go to change the sheets on their
bed and find a new layer of nastiness on the walls.  I have told them that the Kleenex box,
strategically placed next to their bed (while it has a cool design) is not there
for decorative purpose, it is to wipe their noses.

The shower is to clean your bodies, not for Karaoke.  I swear, they take a marathon shower and sing
the whole time.  I am sorry honey you are
not J.T., otherwise maybe I could overlook the fact that their hair isn’t even
wet and they still have a layer of dirt on their bodies when they get out.  “How is this possible” I asked my oldest, “that
you still have dirt on you?”, his reply, “Well, I couldn’t possibly scrub all the
layers of dirt off me in a ½ hour”.  Really,
I now have 5 minutes of hot water left and I can get clean in that time, grrrr.

I Just Took a Shower Mom

They leave food and cups of milk everywhere.  You know when you get home and you go, “what
in the world is that smell!”  Check your
son’s room, you will likely find a cup full of curdled milk, rotten food, or it
could even be their feet, since they forgot what soap is used for.  Last year I couldn’t get rid of ants, I
cleaned everything and the little suckers wouldn’t go away.  I moved my sons bed and found the equivalent
of a mini dumpster of half eaten food and wrappers.  I had a mommy temper tantrum, there was a lot
of stomping around and crying out of the following: “Seriously! OMG! Who does
that! What are we, animals!” I have learned to have weekly inspections of their
rooms, because a boys’ version of clean is if you can’t see it, it doesn’t
exist.

We are not candy wrapper hoarders!!!!

Washing your hands is not optional! I have to constantly ask
my boys when they come out of the bathroom, did you wash your hands.  50 percent of the time, they end up going
back to wash them.  My youngest (who is
the biggest culprit) thinks he is funny and asks me to do the smell test.  Really, do I look like I was born yesterday
(I know I don’t, because you just asked me if I was around with the
dinosaurs).  Next thing you know he will
be asking me to pull his finger.  Bodily
functions are the largest source of boy humor in my household. Why do you think
Scentsy parties are so popular among women? #Lifewithboys

-L-

 

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