Help! I am Turning into One of the Guys!!!

I think I need an intervention…

 Don’t worry I promise
I’m not on drugs and even thou I post quite frequently about wine, I am not an
alcoholic! (I know this because I’ve taken the Facebook quiz and according to
the eighteen year old computer geek who creates those quizzes, drinking 2 (ok
maybe 3) bottles of wine per week doesn’t make you an alcoholic)

 

The kind of intervention I need is a girly intervention. I
am not sure if they exist, but if they do I need one stat. I need to be
surrounded by pretty frilly pink things. I need to watch a marathon of My
Little Ponies while getting a pedicure, having my hair braided, and listening
to Taylor Swift.

Yes, it’s that serious people. I need this intervention
because I think I am starting to turn into ‘one of the guys’.

I’m not joking. Testosterone must be contagious and here is
my evidence to prove it.

Exhibit 1: I’m
Growing Hair in Places I Shouldn’t Be Growing Hair
It came to my attention about a year ago that I have a
moustache and a beard. My husband pointed it out to me while we were kissing.
He thought it was funny, but I was pretty mortified. I started to get it waxed
monthly, but it just kept getting worse. Now I have to shave it at least once a
week. If that is not bad enough, I also have to trim my nose hair and my ear
hair. I’m like an eighty year old man in a thirty something year old woman’s
body.

 

Exhibit 2: I Laugh
at Fart Jokes
Ok, sometimes fart jokes are funny. However, I find myself
laughing at them multiple times a day. My son’s decided to have a fart war at
the dinner table the other night and instead of stopping them like a normal
mother would, I was doubled over laughing as hard as they were. It’s obviously
a sickness, but it gets worse. I don’t just laugh at fart jokes. I have
actually started making my own fart jokes. I farted into my hand the other day
and then held it over my ten year olds nose. His friends thought it was
hilarious. I immediately realized I may need help.

 

Exhibit 3: What I
Watch on TV
The two television shows that I absolutely have to watch
every week are The Walking Dead and Vikings.  I can’t tell you the last time I watched a
romantic comedy, but I have seen EVERY single zombie movie that was ever
created. I use to spend hours binge watching movies like Clueless and Breakfast
at Tiffany’s. Now I binge watch Star Trek, Gremlins, and Space Balls. I use to
quote Mean Girls and now I quote Army of Darkness. At first I would just
pretend that I was watching these shows and movies for my husband and sons, but
now I have to admit I love the potty humor and gore just as much as they do. I
have completely lost touch with girly movies. I am probably one of the only mom’s
in the world who has never seen Frozen. Actually, the first time I heard about
the movie was when my sister told me she found my niece frozen underwear and I
asked why the underwear was frozen….true story.

 

Exhibit 4: My
Favorite Activities Have Changed
Before I had kids people would ask me what my plans for the
weekend were and they included things like shopping, drinking Zima’s with jolly
ranchers in them with my friends, and being pampered at the spa. Now my weekend
activities include fishing, having water gun fights, and attending football
games. I use to be really good at giving my friends manicures now I am a pro at
driving a go cart. I already know what I am doing for my birthday this year. My
big exciting birthday plans are to take my family to see the new Jurassic Park
Movie. I’m turning 33 and all I really want to do is watch dinosaurs eat people….if
that doesn’t scream ‘one of the guys’ I don’t know what does.

 

Exhibit 5: I Go
With the Flow

I no longer freak out when my sons do dangerous things.
While all the other mothers are yelling at their kids to be careful, I’m taking
a picture of mine climbing on top of the slide. I have accepted that boys push
the limits of safety, so now I pick my battles very carefully. I also have
gotten use to them doing weird things. When I come home in the middle of a snow
storm and they have a baby pool out in the living room and googles on I grab my
swim suit and make myself a margarita and pretend to tan under the reading
lamp. I don’t worry about messes or water damage. Life is too short to always
worry all the time.

Exhibit 6: Nothing
Grosses Me Out

 

I can have a conversation about boogers while eating. I can
eat jelly beans that taste like boogers (thanks Harry Potter). I know more
about penis’s & balls than any woman has ever wanted too and it doesn’t
even phase me anymore when they start talking about or grabbing at them. I’ve
seen all types of messes and I am no longer phased by the collection of chewed
gum under the bed. I just make them clean it up and move on. I’ve sat on pee,
been texted pictures of poop, cleaned live snakes out of a drawer, and even
eaten a piece of candy that I found under the bed ( Don’t judge me…It was
still in the wrapper & I was having a really bad pity moment). There is
absolutely nothing that you can do to gross me out.

When you look at all the evidence one thing becomes pretty
clear. I might just be ‘one of the guys’. I probably need an intervention.
However, on second thought I don’t want one. I like being the queen of this man
cave. Life is fun and exciting and I am always entertained. Plus, I have these
three amazing guys who love to take me to do things. I mean their idea of the
perfect date is a hot dog eating contest followed by a monster truck rally, but
I don’t care my moustache and I enjoy every minute of it. #Lifewithboys

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Tiffany O’Connor is a mom to two amazing, energetic, and fearless boys. She is married to her high school sweet heart and has three college degrees. Her hobbies include watching TV shows about zombies, hiding in her hot tub with a bottle of champagne, and writing all about her misadventures parenting in a “man cave” at #Lifewithboys.

Connect with her on Twitter, Instagram, or Facebook

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13 thoughts on “Help! I am Turning into One of the Guys!!!

    • March 28, 2015 at 1:17 pm
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      It's amazing how a house full of boys can change a girl. I'm just surprised at how much I enjoy these things now 🙂

      Reply
  • March 28, 2015 at 3:17 pm
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    I have a house full of girls and the opposite problem. I recently saw a pic of a friend's kid on facebook and commented on how "cute" her outfit was

    Reply
  • March 28, 2015 at 4:17 pm
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    I love this post. It is so much fun and so is being one of the boys! By the way, fart jokes are always funny!

    Reply
    • March 28, 2015 at 4:19 pm
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      Unless it's winter and you are in the car and the windows are rolled up and it's too cold to roll them down…..then they are not funny (Then they are deadly 🙂

      Reply
  • March 29, 2015 at 1:44 am
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    You are a hoot! What's crazy is I realted to every-single-one of these!!!! I am the mom of 3 boys, 3 teenage boys nonetheless!! Thanks for making me laugh!!

    livingoncloudandreanine.blogspot.com

    Reply
    • March 29, 2015 at 4:11 pm
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      Thanks! Being a boy mom is a whole different mothering experience. 3 teen boys now I know who to ask for advice 🙂

      Reply
    • April 4, 2015 at 6:44 pm
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      I imagine that a house full of girls is a lot like strawberry shortcake land where everything smells like flowers and fruit, the house is perfectly sparkling clean all the time, & there is an abundance of pink everywhere……Haha I'm sure this is in no fact your reality but lets both just pretend it is so I can be jealous of you while I fish John Cena out of the toilet yet again…

      Reply
  • April 1, 2015 at 9:07 am
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    WOW! Brave husband! I'm not sure I'd be brave enough to tell Jen if I found a moustache while kissing her! Great to hear about your go karting skills 🙂 Thanks for linking up #bigfatlinky

    Reply
    • April 4, 2015 at 6:49 pm
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      haha Thank you & I'm outnumbered by males so I now overlook brutal honesty….like when my 5 year old tells me he likes to lay his head on my butt & watch TV because it is like a giant fluffy pillow…I figure the fact that he isn't complaining that I am watching General Hospital is training enough for his future wife.

      Reply
  • April 8, 2015 at 3:45 pm
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    Ha Ha! I thought I would miss out on all the girl stuff in my life until my third kid turned out to be a girl. Or she was supposed to be a girl. With two older brothers, she is usually a Power Ranger or Godzilla or the Hulk. And she can throw quite a good punch. So I was actually quite shocked when she became obsessed with Frozen and turned into a Princess!

    Reply

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