You Might be a Boymom if……

We asked several Boy mom’s to finish the sentence, “You might be a boy mom if…” Here are the answers we got:

  • You are always scrubbing pee off the wall and behind the toilet lol.
  • You can never keep enough food in the house.
  • You giggle when someone says balls.
  • You’ve said “get your butt out of his face” more than once today.
  • You can say “Don’t fart in your brother’s face” in your most serious Mom-tone.
  • “Take your hands out of your pants” is just a part of speech.
  • You say, “Don’t let him hit you in the winky!”
  • Belching the alphabet at the dinner table gets applause.
  • You hear the word “poop” multiple times per day!
  • You laugh every time they fart on purpose.
  • You know more about superheroes than you once thought humanly possible.
  • You hear someone yell “sword fight!” and then two sets of feet run for the bathroom.
  • You tell them “stand closer to the toilet it’s shorter than you think it is!”
  • The urgent care doctor knows you by name
  • You toss out more clothes because they are ripped or stained beyond saving than you do because they are too small.
  • You’ve said more than once today, “At least put underwear on.”
  • You realized there are special diapering techniques to keep the pee contained. (pee pee tee pee)
  • You need a gas mask when cleaning their clothes or their bathroom.
  • You know everything about Minecraft, but have never played it.
  • You’ve said “put your penis away” today
  • You have to check pants pockets for sticks, rocks, acorns, matchbox cars, and other treasures before doing laundry.
  • You stay up late watching them hang spit wads as low as they can, only to suck them back up before they fall.
  • You wash a super hero costume pretty much every day.
  • You have asked “can you please stop talking about butts, farts and poop” about a thousand times!
  • You realize that you must explicitly say, “No, you are not allowed to build a fire in the woods without an adult.”
  • You wander around all day with sticky nerf bullets on your pullover.
  • You are an expert in not stepping on Lego parts even in dark.
  • You’ve become fluent in potty humor, an expert in homemade weaponry, and can assess injuries better than a WWII field medic.
  • You say, “No lightsaber fights inside the house”, “do not sit on your brother and fart”, and “you’ve just had breakfast, how can you still be hungry?” All before 7am!
  • You say, “Whoever keeps on putting the dinosaurs into the toilet STOP RIGHT NOW. It is not funny.”
  • On a road trip you have to lower the car windows several times while yelling “who did it?”
  • You’ve ever had to say the sentence, “Don’t pull your brothers pee pee!”
  • You say “I will not even talk to you unless you have underwear on.”
  • You have conversations about wet farts!
  • Three-fifths of your household is not wearing pants and that’s the norm.
  • When suddenly your TV says all of the cords are incompatible and NO ONE KNOWS WHY.
  • When you say, “no, your homemade gun doesn’t work on mums, mums are invincible” as you’re folding the tower of washing and wiping pee off the floor.
  • You have to say, “Get your hands out of your nappy….unless you do wees in the toilet you have to keep your nappy on.”
  • When you say, “Get your clothes back on” more than once a day!
  • Your house smells like pee.
  • You wash more than one load of laundry a day!
  • When you have a basketball hoop attached to your living room lamp.
  • There’s no furniture in your living room. Just sports equipment.
  • You go to Pier1 with friends and all you can think is “Pretty…but breakable” or “A big chocolate handprint would blend in with that pattern” and “I’m definitely getting that…in 12 years…right after the last one graduates!”
  • When you go shopping for you and end up buying boy toys.
  • You constantly say “aim in the toilet!”
  • You hear, “here mom” hold out you hand….and now there’s a booger the size of your pinkie nail on you palm.
  • You frequently ask, “Where are your shoes? Or where are your pants?”
  • Lego is your enemy.
  • You know all the best construction sites to drive past and you always dress him in rubber boots on the chance we might encounter a puddle.
  • When you ask your husband if there was an earthquake and his reply is no your son is on the roof again!
  • You basically live outdoors and the pool water is never too cold.
  • You accidentally get excited to see an airplane because you’re so used to pointing them out.
  • You are not easily grossed out by bodily noises, fluids, or smells!
  • You have had to fish superheroes out of the toilet.

Let us know in the comments below if we are missing anything J

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Tiffany O’Connor is a mom to two amazing, energetic, and fearless boys. She is married to her high school sweet heart and has three college degrees. Her hobbies include watching TV shows about zombies, hiding in her hot tub with a bottle of champagne, and writing all about her misadventures parenting in a “man cave” at #Lifewithboys.

Connect with her on Twitter, Instagram, or Facebook

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5 thoughts on “You Might be a Boymom if……

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