The Day My Dog Ate My Breast Pump

It was my 27th birthday and I had big plans to celebrate with friends for the first time since my youngest son was born. We were going to have dinner and adult conversation over a couple of glasses of wine. I was very excited. My son was three months old and exclusively breastfeeding at the time, so I had been relying on my breast pump to make sure that he had enough breast milk stored in the fridge to get through Mommy’s big night out. I had the best breast pump. It was an electric model portable pump with adjustable suction and speed controls. I had received it as a gift for my baby shower and absolutely loved it.

I woke up that morning in a fabulous mood because it was my birthday. I went into my five-year-olds room to wake him up, but he wasn’t there. I walked into the kitchen to discover that he had attempted to make me cereal for my birthday breakfast and had dumped all five bags of breast milk that I had stored up for his brother all over the kitchen floor. It was one of those moments when you don’t know if you want to laugh or cry. He was so sweet standing there surrounded by breast milk, 2% milk, and frosted flakes proudly holding up a half filled bowl of cereal and wishing me “happy birfday”. I cleaned up the mess and came up with a plan to pump several extra times that day to replace the spilled milk.

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I went into my office to get my breast pump and as soon as I opened the door I was greeted by pieces of shredded plastic all over the floor. I was horrified when I realized these were the remains of my beloved breast pump. There under my desk sleeping peacefully was our French Mastiff, Ziggy. The perpetrator of this horrendous crime.

I started to panic. I wanted to immediately go back to bed. I had only been up for fifteen minutes and my birthday plans were already ruined. I couldn’t leave my baby with a babysitter and no breast milk. I couldn’t have a couple of glasses of delicious Rose, knowing there would be no stored breast milk to replace the milk I would have to pump and dump if I did.

After a few moments of sulking, I decided to collect myself and run to the store for a replacement pump. I knew that other women had breast pump malfunctions all the time. I had to quit acting like this was the end of the world. I feed and clothed both children and finally got them loaded into the car. We drove to the nearest Walmart with the intent to purchase a new breast pump. I put both kids into the cart and made a beeline straight for the baby department. To my dismay, I found that Walmart was somehow sold out of Breast Pumps. They didn’t have a single one, not even one of those manual breast pumps that looks kind of like a medieval torture device. I told myself that the Target across the street would have breast pumps and headed back to the car.

When I arrived at the car, it wouldn’t start. Happy freaking birthday to me. I spent the next hour in the parking lot at Walmart with a three-month-old and a five-year-old waiting for my husband to come and help us. The unruly preschooler jumped around in the back seat as I breast fed the baby in the front seat. People kept walking past my car giving me dirty looks. I covered his poor little head, despite the fact that it was June and like 100 degrees outside.

I called my best friend crying. Tears streaming down my face. She offered to let me use her breast pump. She also had a three-month-old at home. I declined because I know that the FDA considers breast pumps to be single-user devices, because there is no way to really clean and disinfect them between users. She laughed at me an explained that she had a spare pump that she hadn’t used yet. She dropped it off at my house before I even got home and completely saved the day. We still occasionally laugh about my terrible, horrible, really bad day when the dog ate my breast pump.

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Today we have partnered with Diapers.com to give away a $50 gift card to one of our lucky followers. Just comment below this article and tell us if you breast fed, bottle fed, or did both. You can also share your funniest breastfeeding or bottle feeding mishap.

 

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Tiffany O’Connor is a mom to two amazing, energetic, and fearless boys. She is married to her high school sweet heart and has three college degrees. Her hobbies include watching TV shows about zombies, hiding in her hot tub with a bottle of champagne, and writing all about her misadventures parenting in a “man cave” at #Lifewithboys.

Connect with her on Twitter, Instagram, or Facebook

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68 thoughts on “The Day My Dog Ate My Breast Pump

  • February 3, 2017 at 3:06 pm
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    With my first I exclusively pumped for a tear while working full time. He had a hard time going from bottle to me, back and forth etc.So I just looked. Less stress for all.

    My second I am currently nursing, he’s 4 months. I’m now working from home so I plan on nursing for a year!!

    Reply
  • February 3, 2017 at 3:10 pm
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    My first boy was bottle fed. My second was both breast and bottle fed.

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  • February 3, 2017 at 4:32 pm
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    I attempted to breastfeed my older two boys but was not successful. With my third, I read everything available about breastfeeding, got an awesome pump, and used nipple shields a bit in the beginning. Success!! He just weaned at around 11 months 🙂

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    • February 5, 2017 at 8:32 pm
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      That’s awesome. My oldest never latched correctly and I remember how good it felt when I got it right so easily with my second.

      Reply
  • February 3, 2017 at 5:32 pm
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    I nursed and pumped with my first little guy while I worked full-time. I was a sahm with my second, but he had latch issues so I exclusively pumped for a year – God bless breast pumps! My 3rd little guy is 15 months and we’re still nursing. Totally different experiences with each of them. And our fair share of spilled liquid gold.

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    • February 5, 2017 at 8:30 pm
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      My oldest had latch issues & I had to pump exclusively for a year. It’s a totally different experience from actual breastfeeding. I once broke down and cried because I felt like I was spending more time with my breast pump than my baby. I don’t miss that year.

      Reply
  • February 5, 2017 at 7:13 pm
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    Did a combination of breast and bottle and formula for our munchkins. Still in the middle of it all with 4 month old.

    Weirdly you can hire breast pumps here. And the one I have is second hand!

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    • February 5, 2017 at 8:29 pm
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      The ones you can rent are hospital grade and can be re-used. They are made with a material that can be sterilized. 🙂

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      • February 6, 2017 at 11:34 pm
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        Wow, shows what I know. I just assumed they could all be sterilised. But as the ‘breast friend’ craze overtakes us, maybe we won’t need the dreaded pump anymore. Yikes!

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  • February 10, 2017 at 4:11 am
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    Definitely makes me reconsider possibly breast feeding if I get pregnant.

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    • February 10, 2017 at 12:31 pm
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      Don’t let me scare you away. It can actually be an awesome bonding experience and the milk is so good for the baby.

      Reply
  • February 10, 2017 at 4:15 am
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    Breastfed both of my babies (for about a year each). I had a super rough start with my daughter (ended up with a gaping sore from improper latching). I worked so hard to make it work, that once I figured it out, I swore that I would breastfeed them into college. Such a special phase of life, no matter how you feed them. ❤

    Reply
  • February 10, 2017 at 4:15 am
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    I am still breastfeeding my almost 18 month old. He rarely had a bottle.

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  • February 10, 2017 at 4:17 am
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    I breastfed all 4 of my babies for their first few months…then converted over to formula…i made the mistake with my first child of trusting I’d only need a manual pump…wrong lol…

    Reply
  • February 10, 2017 at 4:25 am
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    This is an inspiring article because I didn’t know that other moms had multiple crazy things happen in the same day. I thought I was alone, and boy that is lonely. I bottle fed both of my kids but it was my milk in the bottle.

    Reply
    • February 10, 2017 at 12:29 pm
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      You are not alone. I have has too many days full of chaos like this….but the boys make it worth every second.

      Reply
  • February 10, 2017 at 4:25 am
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    What a birthday! I breast fed all three of my boys but the longest I made it with any of them was 6months. My supply could not keep up with their appetites and pumping was always painful for me. But at least I can say I tried.

    Reply
  • February 10, 2017 at 4:48 am
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    I’m pumping as I read this!!! ❤️❤❤

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  • February 10, 2017 at 5:00 am
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    I breastfed my first two exclusively and barely pumped. My third I pumped every morning and used that for a bottle in the evenings. It freed me up in the evenings.

    Reply
  • February 10, 2017 at 5:04 am
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    Aww the cereal was so sweet and so terrible at the same time! My dog also ate my breast pump so I feel your pain – it just wasn’t on my birthday:)

    Reply
  • February 10, 2017 at 5:22 am
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    Oh my, that is an awful day! I’ve had some bad birthdays but I think you win!
    With all 3 of my children I’ve breast and bottle fed, with my 3rd he was exclusively breastfed never once having formula. It was a personal victory for me. I know just how precious it is to have every drop of that breastmilk available for baby, I can’t imagine losing so much at once!

    Reply
  • February 10, 2017 at 5:51 am
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    Breastfed both my babies. My first until 15 months and my second til 19 months. I also pumped with both just so I could bring a bottle if we went out to a restaurant or something. Sometimes I miss those days! <3

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  • February 10, 2017 at 6:04 am
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    All moms have all had days like that! I hope it got better and you were able to enjoy your birthday! My kids were breast fed for a very short time and then we moved to formula. I also pumped A LOT, even though I barely made anything.

    Reply
  • February 10, 2017 at 6:12 am
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    Selfish me, I bottle fed both children. By the way, happy birthday! The post was great, remind me to tell you about the lemonade trick. It also was a doosey.

    Reply
  • February 10, 2017 at 6:22 am
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    Having my breastpump destroyed would be a disaster! You should be so glad to have an awesome friend to be there for you
    I currently am breastfeeding my 6 month old. My daughter, I both nursed and bottle fed her.

    Reply
  • February 10, 2017 at 6:49 am
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    I did both with my three boys

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  • February 10, 2017 at 8:18 am
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    This really made me laugh, glad you got it sorted. xx

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  • February 10, 2017 at 10:15 am
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    I have both bottle and breastfed my babies. Each experience was different and rewarding.

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  • February 10, 2017 at 11:05 am
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    Very good read, I didn’t have anything that crazy happen when I pumped except for a lot of spilling

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  • February 10, 2017 at 11:41 am
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    I breastfed all four of my babies. The youngest just weaned herself at 19 months. One morning before work, I was pumping in the kitchen and the fedex man showed up. Blinds were wide open. We made eye contact. It was so awkward.

    Reply
  • February 10, 2017 at 11:48 am
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    Mine were both formula feed in bottles. What a day you had and on your birthday, yikes!

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  • February 10, 2017 at 1:19 pm
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    Oh no!! That sounds like a rough bday, but glad it worked out! And oh my goodness…what a sweet lil man for making you breakfast 🙂

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  • February 10, 2017 at 1:21 pm
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    So so sad!! I’m always so afraid my dog is going to do the same thing, so I’m super aware of where I leave it when not using it. I’ve dropped my pump bottles full of milk literally too many times to count and cry just about every single time!!

    Reply
  • February 10, 2017 at 2:16 pm
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    What a day! As if mom life isn’t hard enough! I breastfeed and pump too and it is a ton of work! So glad your friend saved the day 🙂

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  • February 10, 2017 at 2:51 pm
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    Both, but mostly bottle, to hard to keep up with twin boys, eat eat eat. I’m no cow, sorry sons. Plus I started thinking the pump was spewing evil things at me!

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  • February 10, 2017 at 10:21 pm
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    I breastfeed and loved it, but then i learned my son didnt want a bottle at alll. Loke ever, and it stress me out alittle lol. But i made it through that emotional happy time bonding.

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  • February 11, 2017 at 12:31 am
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    I exclusively breastfeed mine. But I do pump and keep a stock in the freezer.

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  • February 13, 2017 at 2:49 pm
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    Great story! I would have been so upset about the dog eating my breast pump!

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  • February 16, 2017 at 1:53 pm
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    So glad you can look back on this and laugh! I had a two week breastfeeding stint. I just couldn’t commit!!! I was always in awe of those mothers who could.

    Reply

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